BY PETER C. KLEPONIS, Ph.D.
John had a dark secret. He was a respectable man, with a successful career, a beautiful wife and four great kids. Yet he was addicted to internet pornography. He had never dreamed that one day he would struggle with such an addiction, and now he hated himself for it.
“How could this have happened to me?” he asked himself time and again.
John’s cycle of addiction was quite common. After a hard day at the office, he would look forward to logging onto the internet to view porn after his wife and kids were in bed. John would view porn for a couple of hours and it almost always ended with him masturbating. Afterward, John would feel horrible and would make the vow to never do it again. However, the next evening the urge to view porn would hit him and the cycle would begin all over again.
At first he tried to justify his actions saying to himself that he was just “blowing off steam with some adult entertainment.” However, deep down, he knew it was wrong and that he had a serious problem. One evening, John’s wife caught him viewing pornography. Seeing how devastated she was, he decided to finally get help.
First Steps
In our first session, John wanted to know how a respectable man can end up with such a horrible addiction. I explained that it all starts with brain chemistry. A man’s brain is wired to be visually stimulated, so that when he sees an erotic image he immediately takes notice. A chemical reaction takes place in the brain during this time. The neurotransmitter chemical dopamine is released. This mixes with the hormone testosterone to create feelings of excitement and euphoria, a high. This is the same chemical reaction and effect that comes from a narcotic, such as cocaine.
Another neurotransmitter chemical, norepinephrine, enables a man’s brain to take a snapshot of the erotic image which can stay in the imagination, allowing him to recall the image at any time. This explains why a man can have vivid sexual fantasies and experience the same effects even without looking at porn.
This excitement in the brain is followed by sexual arousal and ultimately orgasm. These physical and emotional sensations are very persuasive and powerful. The brain discovers an express route to pleasure and wants more. Thus, a man is drawn back to pornography over and over again. This is called creating a neural pathway. The more a man engages is this process, the deeper the neural pathway gets and the more his body craves it.
As with any addiction, after a while a tolerance develops. What used to provide great sexual excitement no longer feeds the habit. To get the same effect, he needs racier stuff. This is when a man usually turns to hard-core pornography, often on the internet.
The amount of time spent viewing pornography also expands. Instead of spending a few minutes online, he now spends several hours. This can have severe consequences. For example, on a few occasions, John spent most of the night online viewing porn. Having only two hours of sleep, he was unable to stay focused at work the next day. This had a serious impact on his work performance.
The pornography addict can also experience withdrawal symptoms when he does not have access to pornography. These symptoms can include anxiety, depression, irritability, and insomnia. The body now craves pornography. At this point, a man will do anything to get a fix, even if it means taking great risks. Some men will even risk losing their jobs by viewing online pornography at work just to get a fix.
Hope for Recovery
Fortunately, there is hope. Recovery from pornography addiction is possible. However, it does take time and effort. The brain needs to get used to functioning without the pornography high. To do this, a man needs to stop using pornography altogether. This is known as starving the addiction.
However, a man cannot do this alone. He needs support and accountability from other men who understand the addiction. This is why 12-step support groups are needed. Therapy is also needed for recovery. It is important to identify the root causes of pornography use. For John, it was work stress, financial worries and loneliness in his marriage that led him to pornography. By resolving these emotional conflicts, it became easier to resist porn and maintain sobriety. God also plays a large role in the recovery process. Ask anyone who has ever recovered from an addiction and they will tell you they couldn’t have done it without God’s grace.
In recovery, John has experienced several successes, as well as a few falls. However, he knows that as he perseveres, he will experience more freedom. He no longer feels imprisoned by pornography. Working with a therapist has helped decrease temptations by helping to heal his emotional wounds. Whenever he does feel tempted to view porn he calls his accountability partners to help him through. Being committed to strengthening his marriage has also given John the resolve to overcome pornography. Finally, John now knows that God loves him and wants to help him to live victoriously over pornography.
 | About Peter Kleponis Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D. is a licensed Clinical Therapist and Assistant Director of Comprehensive Counseling Services in West Conshohocken, Pa. His website is maritalhealing.com. Reprinted with permission of the Catholic News Agency. |
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