BY DAVID O'BRIEN
The demands these days on dads seem to increase with each passing year. Consider our many roles in the family: husband, father, protector, provider, role model, disciplinarian, teacher, playmate, childcare provider, mentor, exemplar of the faith and the person who passes along the clan’s values.
Any one of these roles takes a lifetime to figure out. Where can we look for guidance?
Historically, St. Joseph has been held up in our Catholic tradition as an example for men. Unfortunately, Joseph never says a word in scripture and he disappears after the first chapters of the gospels.
Likewise, traditional male saints, while inspiring in many ways, cannot speak experientially to the challenges of marriage and family because most were celibates.
Surprisingly, however, despite never marrying or having children, Jesus offers great insights for fatherhood.
Consider the Good Shepherd in John 10 as a model for fathers. The Good Shepherd knows his sheep and the sheep know him. Do we take the time to know our children? Do they know us, what we truly value, what our dreams are for them?
Do our children know our voice and find comfort, wisdom, direction and safety in it? Or do they hear our voice as critical, condemning, demanding and disconnected to what is really happening in their lives?
As a father, I hear Jesus say "the good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep" (Jn 10:11) and I think of the many times every day I am asked to give up what I want for the good of my family. I hope as the years go by that I get better at "laying down my life". I’m shocked at how selfi sh and self-centered I still am.
Jesus also shows how to call out the best in his children when he challenges the seven churches in Revelation to not succumb to the pressures and persecutions of the world around them. (Rv 2-3) Jesus warns them to be wary of the easy path offered by the culture. But instead to stand up for what is right, good, true and beautiful, even when the price for doing so is great.
Like a good father, Jesus also tells the truth. In Mt 25, he warns that there will come a day of judgment for all of us. In other words, what we do matters. If we want to play, someday we will have to pay. That is life. Even the best father cannot protect his children from the consequences of their bad choices.
Finally, Jesus reminds us that our jobs as fathers do not end when our children grow up, become more independent and eventually leave home. Jesus says in Jn 17: "When I was with them I protected them...I guarded them, and none of them was lost." (vs. 12) He then goes on to pray that in his absence God would "keep them from the evil one" and "consecrate them in the truth." (vs. 15-17) Those are good words to include in our prayers for our many children who have strayed from their faith and are struggling.
Churches are paying more attention to men recently. Wonderful groups like the Men of St. Joseph are joining the Knights of Columbus and the Knights of Peter Claver in supporting men in their Catholic faith. Conferences, books, workshops and even movies (see the Tips for Everyday Faith below) are now available for men who recognize their need for solid teaching and support in living out their duties as husband, father, worker and disciple of Christ in the world.
Fathers are entrusted with caring for God’s family; an awesome task but one that brings out the best in men and helps us be who we were created to be.
The demands these days on dads seem to increase with each passing year. Consider our many roles in the family: husband, father, protector, provider, role model, disciplinarian, teacher, playmate, childcare provider, mentor, exemplar of the faith and the person who passes along the clan’s values.
Any one of these roles takes a lifetime to figure out. Where can we look for guidance?
Historically, St. Joseph has been held up in our Catholic tradition as an example for men. Unfortunately, Joseph never says a word in scripture and he disappears after the first chapters of the gospels.
Likewise, traditional male saints, while inspiring in many ways, cannot speak experientially to the challenges of marriage and family because most were celibates.
Surprisingly, however, despite never marrying or having children, Jesus offers great insights for fatherhood.
Consider the Good Shepherd in John 10 as a model for fathers. The Good Shepherd knows his sheep and the sheep know him. Do we take the time to know our children? Do they know us, what we truly value, what our dreams are for them?
Do our children know our voice and find comfort, wisdom, direction and safety in it? Or do they hear our voice as critical, condemning, demanding and disconnected to what is really happening in their lives?
As a father, I hear Jesus say "the good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep" (Jn 10:11) and I think of the many times every day I am asked to give up what I want for the good of my family. I hope as the years go by that I get better at "laying down my life". I’m shocked at how selfi sh and self-centered I still am.
Jesus also shows how to call out the best in his children when he challenges the seven churches in Revelation to not succumb to the pressures and persecutions of the world around them. (Rv 2-3) Jesus warns them to be wary of the easy path offered by the culture. But instead to stand up for what is right, good, true and beautiful, even when the price for doing so is great.
Like a good father, Jesus also tells the truth. In Mt 25, he warns that there will come a day of judgment for all of us. In other words, what we do matters. If we want to play, someday we will have to pay. That is life. Even the best father cannot protect his children from the consequences of their bad choices.
Finally, Jesus reminds us that our jobs as fathers do not end when our children grow up, become more independent and eventually leave home. Jesus says in Jn 17: "When I was with them I protected them...I guarded them, and none of them was lost." (vs. 12) He then goes on to pray that in his absence God would "keep them from the evil one" and "consecrate them in the truth." (vs. 15-17) Those are good words to include in our prayers for our many children who have strayed from their faith and are struggling.
Churches are paying more attention to men recently. Wonderful groups like the Men of St. Joseph are joining the Knights of Columbus and the Knights of Peter Claver in supporting men in their Catholic faith. Conferences, books, workshops and even movies (see the Tips for Everyday Faith below) are now available for men who recognize their need for solid teaching and support in living out their duties as husband, father, worker and disciple of Christ in the world.
Fathers are entrusted with caring for God’s family; an awesome task but one that brings out the best in men and helps us be who we were created to be.
 * | About David O’Brien David O’Brien is the Associate Director of Religious Education for Lay Ministry for the Archdiocese of Mobile. His column, Everyday Faith, appears regularly in the archdiocesan newspaper, the Catholic Week. Email David at dobrien@mobilearchdiocese.org. |
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