It is Time for Men, to be Men

Reflections on the 2010 Men of St. Joseph Retreat, Mobile, Alabama, Fr. Bry Shields, Retreat Master.

By Jeff Galle, Executive Director, Men of St. Joseph

It was apparent at the retreat: we men are ready to be men. We who laid latent are ready to step up, and not in pride, nor in hate, nor passion. We are ready to seek the command of our leader, Jesus Christ, taking up his banner, moving forward with courage, reckoning not the cost. The question is: how? Simple steps are the answer.

We let Christ into our whole lifestyle. Our family. Our workplace. Our leisure. At night and in the morning we pray with our children and wives. We are honest in our work. We take a prayer card to the hunting stand on Saturday. We’re in Church on Sunday. If we can, we’re in Church everyday. If we can’t, we pray everyday.

We do not shy away from our Mother, the Church. We allow her to propose her wisdom and principles, and we follow them, kindly asking why they are what they are, so we can fully explain them to others. Some teachings are hard to follow. We follow them anyway. We assert them. They are Her principles, and it is our job not to slink away from them, but to stand up for them. To be Christ to the world.

We love our wife. Not in lust, but as Christ loves the Church. Everyday we die for our wife. We sacrifice, we give up. We love her. We love her. We love her. We show her that she must love, that the Church calls her to affection, to service, and to virtue. She must too focus on virtuous works, on prayer, on sacrifice. We gently but firmly propose this lifestyle to her, just as Christ proposed to the Church. Put down Cosmo. Pick up a life of a saint. Turn off sitcoms and gossip channels. Pray for the children.

We read. We understand what is going on in the world, and we check the sources our kids are reading. We make sure they are being taught properly. We call people out when they lead our children astray. When they try to shush us, we do not get quiet. We affirm our kids and teachers when they are virtuous. We have children. We have children according to the Church. We know that the greatest gift a child can receive is a brother/sister or cousin. That this companionship is even more important than college and wealth. A relative can go to heaven. A BMW can’t.

We watch. Television, films, phones, and gadgets are gifts, not evil. They are being used for evil. No more. When they are not used right, we demand they are. We make sure our children are not poisoned. We do not feed ourselves poison. No late nights without the wife. The conjugal act (sexual intercourse) is worship. You probably haven’t heard that before, I’ll write it again. The conjugal act is worship. It is a good, so good in fact it is a sacrament, a holy oath meant for great pleasure and procreation. Would you throw the Eucharist on the ground and stamp on it? No. Don’t do that to consummation.  Don’t misuse it. Gently and firmly don’t allow your wife to misuse it. No more late night poison on the computer or television.

We get our priorities straight. Football games are great, but Church is the greatest. Mardi Gras is a Catholic holiday, meant to celebrate the coming of Christ’s great sacrifice in the desert and resurrection, not for sin. We get rid of secret habits. You know yours. We go to mass as much as we can. We get involved in civil life. Make sure the right people are in office. Make sure that our businesses are honest. Make sure our donations are generous and wise.

These practices are a first step to happiness, to a new life. They are a beginning, a lit match to dried brush. It is not easy, and when we fail, we are there for each other. We lift each other up. If someone is repentant, no condemnation. Failure is necessary for learning, and the possibility of failure is what makes the challenge meaningful. God has given the most thrilling and difficult challenge: not to be a beast, but to be like Him. To be His Son, to be His Brother. He has given us, us of all creation, the ability to rise up and enjoy him eternally. Through humility, through courageously and unabashedly choosing Him, we know heaven. We know brotherhood. We know happiness.

No more permissiveness. No more apathy. No more sloth.

It is time men, to be men.