Monday, February 21, 2011

If you pray, don’t worry. If you worry, don’t pray

BY DAVID O'BRIEN

I like the sentiment but I must admit, I still have a hard time not worrying.

When I pay our bills, I worry. When I hear about so many people losing their jobs, I worry. When I imagine the expense of sending our kids through school, let alone college, I worry.

Did I mention that we need a new car to make room for baby #4 due in August, our house needs a paint job and our roof is leaking?

I know I shouldn’t worry. My parents somehow made it and they had less money, less mobility and far less education than I have. My Dad’s motto was: "everything always works out for the best". He never mentioned God but looking back, his words were a deep expression of his faith that God would take care of our family.

God’s providential care has been evident in my life as well. Somehow I paid for college in Boston. My student loans were picked up by an anonymous donor during my year of missionary work. I went to graduate school for free. Then years later, after a tortuous 8 year relationship, my wife seemed to drop out of heaven. Maybe my Dad was right.

Still, I have never quite fi gured out the balance between trusting the Lord and fulfilling my end of the bargain.

Jesus says: "Seek first the kingdom of God...and all these things will be given unto you." (Mt 6:33) Really? Is that how it works? Pray and I’ll get everything I need including a minivan and a roof job? I’d like to think so, but Christ probably didn’t intend for us to sit around praying all day waiting for God to do everything for us.

Perhaps the Lord meant something closer to this: "Work as if it all depends on you. Pray as if it all depends on God."

I like that. Do everything you can and trust that God has your back. But don’t overestimate how much control you have on things. As Paul says: "I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth" (1 Cor 3:6).

It is sort of like raising children. We give them all the love we can, the best advice, structure, discipline, self confidence and then we have to let them go, praying that God will protect them and lead them down the right road.

Worrying, then, is a sign that I don’t really trust God. Sure, I can say all the right words but when the pressure is on, doubts creep in. Will God come through this time? Is there something else I should’ve done? Is God still paying attention? Ridiculous, I know, but I think these things.

Someone once reversed that work/pray quote to read: "Work as if it all depends on God. Pray as if it all depends on you." I like that version because it tells me to stop fussing. I can’t fi x every problem or control every situation. I just need to do my part. Work hard but keep storming the heavens, pleading with God for assistance, reminding God that if everything depends upon me, we are doomed. My prayer, then, is supercharged, not with worry, but with cries for help.

Jesus said: "What father would give his son a rock if he asks for a piece of bread?" (Mt 7:9) and I believe Him. God the Father knows my situation, cares about me and my family, wants to help and will help. I know this both through faith and from experience. I just wish it wasn’t so hard to let go. Why do I exhaust myself with worry before I finally surrender? I’d do much better to listen to St. Paul’s version of my Dad’s slogan: "All things work for the good for those who love God and are called according to His purposes." (Rom 8:28)


About David O’Brien
David O’Brien is the Associate Director of Religious Education for Lay Ministry for the Archdiocese of Mobile. His column, Everyday Faith, appears regularly in the archdiocesan newspaper, the Catholic Week. Email David at dobrien@mobilearchdiocese.org.


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